Yeah. It’s that time again. To ramble, because apparently I’ve done my share of cases for today and waiting for next cases to show up. Hopefully not too soon.
Recently I’ve been watching several clips of people of Offline TV on YouTube. It’s just nice to see them. Warming in fact. These are people who seem to be similar to me in character: geeky, awkward, extrovertedly introvert (is this even a word?). It’s like “Hey, I’m not the only person who’s like that!” And yeah, to be honest, I got into watching them because of the Lilypichu’s melodica video.
She’s cute.
After watching their clips, I found out about Disguised Toast and his harem. It’s funny that watching it kinda reminds me of Love Hina, a romcom manga/anime that I honestly read only for the story. Never for the occasional semi-lewd contents. Nope, not at all. Must be fun being Toast. Or is it? Well, at least I’d enjoy being Toast.
The more I watch I found more interesting stuff, like Fed’s emotional real talk, Aria’s dance class, Albert’s magic tricks, etc. But in the same time I also feel a build up of melancholy in me. “Must be nice to have friends” is something that often pops up watching their videos. I mean, I do have friends. I have a lot of friends, even. But it is one thing to make friends and another thing to maintain the friendship. I’m good at one thing and bad at the other. Hint: I’m good at making friends.
I’ve been living alone ever since I started university, which means this year is my 12th anniversary of living alone. It’s been fun. It’s been awesome. No one to tell me things. No one to disturb me. No one to argue with. After more than a decade, I think I’ve grown accustomed to this. Too accustomed, perhaps.
So the “must be nice to have friends” in my thoughts is simply a selfish idea of mine. An egotist’s ideal, where people should approach first so that he can join the fun. So that the fun be brought to him. That’s the asshole in me. Why would anyone make an effort if I didn’t make any? It’s just fair. In the end, it’s all my fault anyway. A fault I know how to fix, but too comfortable to actually fix it.
Have a great Monday everyone. Don’t forget to smile and watch Lilypichu if you’re down. She might give you a healthy dose of comfy.
Soldier of Nine Empresses 
