another dream…why…

as I posted before…I still feel flustered about the whole Miki’s wedding news…but then, somehow I try to watch a TV Show with Miki in it…since the newest download is the Down Town DX SP 20090319 (if you want, download it here –> http://www.sendspace.com/file/fb4do4 ), then I decided to watch it…the show is fine, with Miki ranked second for the female celebrities who seemed to be got at kissing (damn, that Shouji guy will got it)…but the even “bigger” part for me is when the show analyzed the fashion of its guests…I don’t know by what order they ranked for but Miki got 15th place…when the analysis on her fashion was running, I can’t help but to notice that when her necklace was highlighted, a few guests made some noise, even the hosts (Matsumoto and Hamada)…plus in the end of the analysis, Miki made a comment : “ichiban desu yo”, I do think it’s referring to the necklace…these facts, tempt me to assume that the necklace is given by Miki’s future husband, Shouji Tomoharu, hence the reason she said that it is number one for her…

in response to my assumption, I then looked for the necklace in all performance or TV shows with Miki in it after she resigned from Morning Musume…and I got another fact that even made my assumption stronger…by my observation, she wears it in almost ALL of TV shows and performance…fyi, the pendant of the necklace looks like a crescent moon holding a round crystal above it with the size of (probably) a thumbnail…

so what the heck with the title…simple, I think about my assumption that much that it was actually brought to my dream…last night, I got another dream with Miki in it…the dream was like this :

it looked like I’m one of the press and got special privilege to interview her…and the first question I ask was of course, “Fujimoto-san, why did you say that the necklace is number one for you?”…she just smiled, and I asked another question, “Did Shouji-san give it to you?”…while keeping the smile, she then answered, “Why don’t you look closely?”…then I rose from my chair and got near her, that’s when the magic happen…the pendant of the necklace suddenly grew bigger, up to the size of a CD/DVD…surprisingly, Miki was not surprised by this and said to me (who’s surprised), “Look at it now”…now, somehow, I can read two words engraved in the now-enlarged pendant, it read : “Shouji Tomoharu”…and then, I woke up to the song Okitegami (I sleep while playing music in my laptop), with a confused feeling, what should I do for Miki…with my own strength…

a SHOCKING news…

just now, i was having fun in internet forums i registered in…the fun part gradually decreases as i found these two links…
-> http://www.sponichi.co.jp/entertainment/flash/KFullFlash20090324102.html
-> http://www.nikkansports.com/entertainment/news/f-et-tp0-20090324-474947.html

there’s picture of Fujimoto Miki in them…along with Japanese writings that can be read Shouji…and the person who gave the links said like this : “i don’t know if this is legit or not, Miki is getting married”…without further hesitation i go to Goggle Translate…and yes, it seems that the news is correct after all Fujimoto Miki will be married to Shouji Tomoharu summer this year…

as a fans of an idol…i acknowledge that there’s an unwritten code of conduct saying : “if your idol is happy, then you should be happy”…yup, that is the IDEAL way of thought…for me, this news SHOULD be a good news…i mean, she actually marrying someone who made her resign from Morning Musume (though might be indirectly), someone that (i assume) she got real feelings for…really, i SHOULD be happy for her…

but in reality, i still can’t find my way out of denial…it’s like my own thoughts and feelings are collaborating against the fact that it IS the truth…that my idol, Fujimoto Miki, IS marrying this guy…i just felt heartbroken, don’t know why i got those feelings…i mean, she doesn’t even acknowledges me, let alone knows me…but i just feel that way, up to the point that i actually re-read the news many times hoping for it to change, to the point that i got cold sweat when i realize there’s no changing in it, to the point that i AM actually flustered…i know that it’ll come by, sooner or later i know that Miki will be married to someone…it’s just i don’t expect it to be this fast…just after graduating from Hello! Project…i can only find this to be SHOCKING…

i guess, for now i can only rely on the time itself to heal me from this heartache…i’m really disheartened by this, i’m considering to go on hiatus from the H!P World…too sentimental? may be, but at least, for now, i’m being true to my own feelings…

Kamen Rider + Mikitty…bwahahaha…

jadi…beberapa hari yang lalu gw ngabisin satu seri Kamen Rider Kiva gara2 penasaran banget abis nonton Kamen Rider D-D-D-Decade (harus terbata2 boi ngomongnya)…setelah gw abisin satu seri dalam satu hari, malemnya gw langsung mimpi jadi Kamen Rider, emang dasar masa kecil terlalu bahagia gini nih, malah kebawa2 ampe kuliah (btw, pas gw kecil dan nonton Ksatria Baja Hitam gw malah ga pernah mimpi jadi doi lho)…gw mimpinya berubah dengan menggunakan Nokia 6260, gw emang punya hape ini sih, dan selesai nonton Kiva, gw emang ngeliat2 hape gw ini (yang sudah ga bisa nyala, ada yang bisa benerin ga?) berkhayal2 dikit klo hape gw ini bisa jadi semacam device pengubah jadi Kamen Rider…hahahaha…ga nyangka gw beneran kebawa mimpi…

yang mangtep, (masi dalam mode penasaran abis nonton D-D-D-Decade) besoknya gw langsung ngabisin satu seri Kamen Rider Kabuto…dan di sinilah letak serunya…gw malemnya mimpi lagi, gini ceritanya…

gw sedang berjalan2 di sebuah kota yang ntah di mana…terus gw denger derap kaki berlari, pas nengok ke arah suara itu, tau2 ada cewe nubruk gw…pas gw liat baik2, (sound effect : eng-ing-eng) ternyata yang nabrak gw Fujimoto Miki, syok gw…trus gw liat ke arah dari dia lari, keliatan monster2 jelek kaya di Kabuto (klo ganteng, namanya mungkin model ya, bukan monster) yang kayanya ngejar2 dia…trus tau2 Miki ngomong gini : “I can’t run anymore, you gotta take the chance to help me” dan ngelempar hape Nokia 6260 ke gw…dengan sigap layaknya Kotaro Minami, gw menangkap hape tersebut dan ngomong : “HENSHIN!” (bukan, bukan Henshin Kimura, itu mah jokes buat jagoan Samurai X)…yang gw bingung, koq gw tau sih cara berubahnya, dasar mimpi…dengan semangat dan kemantapan bak Tendou Souji – sang pemeran utama Kabuto – monster2 tak seberapa jagonya itu luluh lantak di tangan – dan kaki – gw…kemudian scene nya tau2 fast forward ke adegan kaya gw dah mo nglawan monster terakhir di dunia itu, bentuknya – seinget gw – rada kaya naga gede gitu deh…trus tau2 dah ada Kamen Rider lain, gw ga tau dah nih Kamen Rider sapa…trus gw ama si Kamen-Rider-baru-yang-ntah-siapa itu melancarkan serangan (bukan Bambang) pamungkas tiap Kamen Rider ke arah si monster-terakhir-berwujud-naga-seinget-gw itu…tapi Twin Rider Kick nya gagal, cuma ditepis doang pake ekornya dan kita terpental…trus gw ama si Kamen-Rider-baru-yang-ntah-siapa itu kehilangan form Kamen Rider alias balik ke form manusia…tiba2 datenglah Miki, dan tiba2 gw seperti teringat sesuatu gitu…dan gw langsung berjalan ke arah si Kamen-Rider-baru-yang-ntah-siapa itu, yang ternyata adalah GUE JUGA (dalam bentuk yang lebih langsing tapi, hehe)…melihat kenyataan itu, gw tersenyum kecil dan mengambil Nokia 6260 gw serta device pengubah bentuk punyanya si Kamen-Rider-baru-yang-ternyata-adalah-gue-juga itu…trus gw dengan cool nya bilang gini ke gue yang satunya lagi :

gw : hey…
gysl (gue yang satunya lagi) : what?
gw : take care of her for me will you…
gysl : huh…
gw : you heard me, take care of her (sembari menunjuk Miki)…for me…
gysl : you don’t think of using…
gw : you bet i do…just…make sure both of you don’t die…
gysl : i can’t allow this…
gw : oh yeah, try and stop me…(sembari menendang gysl di perut) there, you won’t move for a few minutes…
gysl : you…damn you…
gw : you think i’d give you half of my glory…heheh…(tersenyum penuh arti) HENSHIN! (sembari naro Nokia 6260 gw di belt gw)…

dan yang lakukan berikutnya (dalam mimpi ini sih) bener2 mantap, tak pernah dilakukan Kamen Rider lain kayanya…karena setelah gw berubah dengan Nokia 6260 gw, gw tau2 ngegeser tuh hape di belt gw, dan masang device pengubah punya gw-yang-satu-lagi…dan sekali lagi berteriak penuh semangat bak Bung Tomo di jaman perjuangan : “HENSHIN!!!!!” dan tau2 gw berubah jadi kek Kamen Rider versi Ultraman (gedenya banget gitu maksudnya)…dan mulai lah gw berantem dengan si monster terakhir ini…setelah pukul2an dan tendang2an, tiba saatnya untuk Rider Kick…dan gw melancarkan Rider Kick nya tetep kaya Kabuto, membelakangi si monster itu dulu, sebelum memberikan roundhouse kick mantap dan tepat waktu ke si monster…monsternya kemudian hancur…dan gw mengecil kembali menjadi manusia…trus tau2 hape gw itu retak…ceritanya gw saat itu lemes banget, trus didatengin ama si gw-yang-satunya-lagi ama Miki…begitu ngliat mereka, gw ngambil tangan nya gw-yang-satunya-lagi dan Miki, dan gw bikin mereka jadi pegangan di atas gw…trus gw tersenyum dan tutup mata, ntah gw mati, ntah gw pingsan…yang jelas dunia gelap…dan next thing i know, gw dah bangun di kamar kosan gw lagi…hahahaha…