time of repent…for Miki’s sake…

yeah…it’s time for me to repent…from my (so-called) bitching about Miki’s wedding…in the two previous posts, i already stated my anxiety, sadness, resentment, and almost all negative feelings towards the news…i even thought about going hiatus on Hello! Project stuffs…all of because a sudden burst of shock…

2 days (and nights) after the news may have been some down low moments in my life…i gathered all the files that could make me even sadder, and no, i didn’t delete it, instead i try watched them over and over again…it really got to me that i actually do have feeling for this woman, don’t know what kind of feeling, but the feeling is so deep up to the point that i actually cried when i watched this OPV…weird? yes it is, freak? might as well say it’s right…but i can’t help it, just as Shouji (her future husband) said : “i am captivated by her kindness and her straightforward manners”…some said, “you’re dreaming when you think you can be with her”, and i only replied, “it is the dream that actually matters, because people live chasing their dreams, wanting to make the dreams happen”…

a few days ago, i started to see some lights in my black-cloud-shrouded hearts…and actually, it is because of Miki and the people around her…these things are what i thought to be the things that shed the tears off my eyes and the clouds off my heart :
1. Shouji appearance in VS Arashi Ep.4
yeah…2nd day of my downlow days, i went home to Jakarta…in an effort to shrug the burdening thought off my shoulders…and that’s the day when i called my fellow H!P friends to gather in my house…there we talked about various things including Miki’s wedding…and one of my friends (nicknamed av4ntasia in MMI) gave me VS Arashi Ep. 4, where ShinagawaShouji (the duo-comedy group of Shouji) came as guest…and i watched it after my friends went back…unknowingly, there’re few jokes made by Shinagawa about Shouji-Miki relationship, and somehow, i laughed at it…for me, it’s like Shouji telling me : “C’mon man, i’m not THAT bad, i think i can make her happy, so please give me a hand in here”…
2. Watarasebashi by Matsuura Aya
i don’t know how…but while in Jakarta, this song somehow ringed in my head, and i decided to watch the PV (subbed)…the song actually soothed me, its soft “taste” really made me relaxed…the bridge of the song goes like this : “dare no sei demo nai, anata ga kono machi de, kurasenai koto wakatteta no//nando mo nayanda wa, dakedo watashi koko wo, hanarete kurasu koto dekinai//”…and when i read the translation, it goes like this : “it’s not anyone’s fault, i knew that you couldn’t live in this town//i worried over it for so long, but i can’t live anywhere else//”…these sentences knocked me up with those words…for me, it’s like Ayaya telling me : “Miki can’t live as idol forever, she will live her own life, and you know it, don’t worry for it, because you too have your own life”…
3. Seishun Boku by Yaguchi Mari
and yes, the recent single release by Yaguchi and Air Band also played a role in my resurrection…the song is fast-paced and until now it still makes me feel spirited…and the fact that Shouji is actually the vocalist of Air Band makes the song even more meaningful for me…it’s like they are telling me : “heartbreak happens in youth, the thing is, you got to get up fast and reach for another chance”…
4. Miki…herself…
as i try to saddened myself (this is my way of recuperating from heartbreak, accumulate all the sadness, then flushed it all, it works for me) i always read the news about her wedding in Hello! Online…and in that news, this sentence always rings in my head : “I would be really happy if you could give us your warm support from now on”…there’s nothing else (for now) i want beside for Miki to be happy…

coincidence? well, i believe “coincidence” is God’s way to tell things…and thus, i made up my mind and now a supporter for Shouji-Miki relationship…for those who still challenge this relationship, might as well re-think about it and try my advices above…if you still can’t find your way to redemption, then may the Curse of The Dark Princess be with you…muwahahahahaha…

signed,
the now rejoiced Fujimoto Miki fan

Yvan Christian

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One comment

  1. felice · April 2, 2009

    yokatta ne…
    sudah berhasil diatasi…heheh…

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